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Aug 26 2012

Breaking Point

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On Friday, Kalil was like this during a visit from Grandpa (after a few days of superdoses of Prednisone the vet prescribed to him on Tuesday):



Awesome to see, yes?


On Saturday, I woke up to this (warning:  not the most fun video to watch):



The “bloodhound eyes” (the only way I know how to describe it) have occurred off and on the last couple of days starting at breakfast on Saturday (6am).  On Tuesday, the vet said that the cancer is eating away at all of his facial muscles (or something along those lines) which means the sunkenness around the eyes is creating the eye boogers and irritation around the eyes.   He is also fully blind in his left eye which has really only occurred in the last couple of days.


My husband was out of town for an agility trial since Thursday night and returned today.  Kalil has fallen down several times yesterday and today and had a pretty bad spill this afternoon.  Kalil recovered but it took him quite some time.  My husband is in denial.  Right now, I would really like to punch my husband in the face for being so selfish, or not accepting that Kalil really isn’t well.


I probably shouldn’t even post anything today but I am tired, and upset, and stressed out.   And I hate seeing Kalil this way and not coming to an agreement with my husband that maybe Kalil is suffering and that maybe it really is time to let him be at peace.

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8 responses so far

8 Responses to “Breaking Point”

  1.   princesson 26 Aug 2012 at 7:19 pm     Reply1

    Oh, I am just so sorry. Tears are streaming down my face. That was a very hard video to watch so I can’t begin to imagine how hard it was to record it. It’s so scary how quickly everything can change.

    I understand your frustration and your pain at seeing Kalil in this way. You want to do what is best for him. I hope you and your husband can both reach a similar understanding very soon. Maybe a vet visit could help with bringing you both on the same page about what is best for Kalil?

    Lots and lots of hugs

    Karen and Spirit Magnum

  2.   sweetpea2006on 26 Aug 2012 at 7:26 pm     Reply2

    I understand your pain, my husband is dealing with Sweetpea, by just not talking about. If he talks about it- it makes it more “real” to him and I gotta say- he stresses me out more than Sweetpea. I’m praying for Kalil, you & your family.Donna

    •   Kalil's Momon 26 Aug 2012 at 8:59 pm     Reply3

      I believe the same applies for my husband. Kalil is his heart. I can see why he is in denial but gosh, it makes me so mad. 🙁

  3.   AngelAbbysMomon 26 Aug 2012 at 8:30 pm     Reply4

    Oh, that is so sad. It’s hard enough to have our pups be in pain, but when you disagree with your spouse about how to deal with it it’s even worse. Luckily my hubs and I were on the same page. Since Abby was a Mommy’s girl, he mostly let me make the calls on what would happen when. Others here have been in similar situations and had a hard time with convincing their spouse that it was time to let go. Maybe they will chime in with words of advice.
    It’s SO hard to let our pups go – but it is the last greatest gift that we can give them. Maybe since he was away, he doesn’t realize how bad things are. Hopefully being home now and seeing Kalil with his own eyes, you can come to an agreement soon.
    Hang in there!

  4.   Kalil's Momon 26 Aug 2012 at 8:36 pm     Reply5

    I think we’ve come to an agreement, and my husband will be giving the vet a call tomorrow (hopefully). We have already talked about what we wanted for “end of life” stuff and we hope to have him pass in our home.

    This is going to be the hardest thing we’ve ever dealt with as a couple so far. I just hope that Kalil will be at peace soon.

    Thanks everyone for the support. It really does mean more than you could ever know.

  5.   samsamsmomon 26 Aug 2012 at 9:17 pm     Reply6

    I’m so sorry you are dealing with this….it’s just so difficult. If it’s any help, our Sam had a similar eye issue at the end. When we talked to our oncologist, she said Sam had shifted from living with cancer to existing with cancer. We decided that he had fought too hard to exist and that anything less than living for a tripawd warrior was not fair for him. It helped us both be on the same page and to be totally at peace with such a crappy decision. Please know you will be in our thoughts – hang in there. Xoxo Sue

  6.   jerryon 26 Aug 2012 at 9:40 pm     Reply7

    Ohhhhh I’m so sorry you guys. Things can change so fast, and sometimes it just takes some humans longer than others to see that the quality of life just isn’t there anymore. If it helps, please see our Tripawds News Blog (search for “hospice”) which has a good quality of life scale that your hubby can review.

    I hope he finds peace with the realization that his duty to help Kalil move on to his next journey is probably at hand. It’s an awful thing to go through, but the least that humans can do for their beloved dogs who have given so much. I encourage you to meet with your vet together, so that Kalil does not suffer. Since the guilt of waiting too long can be greater than the grief itself, it might be best to meet sooner rather than later.

    My heart goes out to you, I am so sorry. We are here to lean on if you want to vent. Visit our Forums for help OK?

  7.   rizzobeanson 26 Aug 2012 at 11:17 pm     Reply8

    I feel so very bad for you both as things changed so fast. Kalil has been loved to the fullest and that hopefully helps you in some way. It is so obvious he knows he is loved and you are great parents. I will be keeping you in my thoughts these next days ahead and sending you strength to do what you need to do for your beautiful boy. All our Best to you during this difficult time. Suzie and Rizzo

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